Ahoy! For all ye landlubbers that haven't been cruising before, here's a few facts, figures and a bit of cruise terminology that will help you get up with the swing of things and make you look like an 'ol salty dog from way back with your friends..

Firstly, some questions to get you thinking:-

• What do you think is the average age of cruisers today?
  (a)34
  (b)43
  (c)52
  (d)67
  (e)ancient
• Which category of cabin is generally the fastest selling on a ship?
  (a) Lowest Priced
  (b) Highest Priced
  (c) Low - medium Priced
  (d) Medium - high Priced
• What do you call the back of a ship?
  (a) Stern
  (b) Aft
  (c) Starboard
  (d) Bow
  (e) Midship
  (f) Arse
• What percentage of the 'total cost' would you expect to spend on a basic cruise package?
  (a) 10%
  (b) 25%
  (c) 85%
  (d) 65%
  (e) 100%

We'll answer the questions later, but firstly, here's some cruising terminology to get you started on the road to cruising expertise. Impress your family and friends by throwing a few of these in your conversations at dinner parties and social occasions, and you will soon find yourself the hit of the party!

Cruise / Nautical Terminology

• ALTERNATIVE DINING - where cruise passengers have the option to dine in a restaurant other than the main dining room
• ANCHORAGE PORT - A port in which a ship is unable to berth either because there is no quay or the dock is too small
• BERTH - where a ship is able to dock at - either a dock, pier or quay. Also means a bed onboard a ship.
• BOW - The forward most part of a ship. Also what you do to your partner on formal nights when you are on the dancefloor.
• BRIDGE - most people think this is the game that oldies always get upto on cruises, but it is the area from which the ship's officers navigate the ship.
• CASHLESS SYSTEM - cash is not normally accepted for purchases onboard. Typically all onboard expenses (excluding tips and gambling expenses) are billed to the individual passengers' account for payment by credit card the final morning of the cruise
• CONVERTIBLE LOWER BEDS - either two lower or single beds which can be converted to a double bed, or a lower bed which converts to a settee.
• EXPEDITION VESSEL - small cruise ship used to visit remote parts of the world. Usually have a reinforced hull for navigation through ice (such as on Antarctic cruises).
• GALLEY - the ships' kitchen. As opposed to GALLOW, which is something completely different.
• GANGWAY - the narrow walkway for passengers and crew to board the ship. More commonly referred to as the "gangplank" in old seafaring days, but most cruises don't let people "walk the gangplank" these days...
• GROSS REGISTERED TON (GRT) - this is an interesting one. Most ships are referred to in size by this calculation. It isn't actually the weight of the ship, but is calculated as a measure of the ship's internal volume. The measure is equal to 100 cubic feet of enclosed space. So, a ship of 70,000 tons is actually measured by 70,000 x 100 cubic feet of enclosed space. To put things in perspectic, when Titanic was launched, she was a little over 46,000 GRT. In comparison, the latest megaliner "Oasis Of The Seas" launched in 2009 comes in at a massive 225,000 GRT!! Even in Australia the ships based here such as Pacific Dawn and Pacific Jewel come in at around 70,000 GRT, and the Princess ships Sea, Sun & Dawn Princess are a little over 77,000 GRT.
• HULL - the frame and body of the ship, exclusive of masts or superstructure
• KIDS CLUB - no, it's not like the seal clubs they used about 20 years ago in the arctic regions. Rather it's a dedicated area onboard where there are organised and supervised activities for young and older kids, such as games, craft, pizza parties, kids discos, talent quests and heaps more. Where was cruising when we were young??
• KNOT - they used these a lot on pirate ships in the old days to tie prisoners to the mast, but these days it is a unit of speed, equal to one nautical mile (1.85 land kilometres) per hour. Well, okay, you can still tie someone to the mast using a knot if you like..
• MIDSHIP - in the middle (or towards the middle) of the ship. So if someones says "I'll meet you at the Midship Bar for a couple of cocktails in 10 minutes", you know exactly were to go!
• MUSTER STATION - this will be one the first things you will become familiar with when you board your cruise. It is an area onboard the ship where passengers are instructed to go in the event of an emergency. One of the first things when you board your cruise is to undertake a fire drill where you will be made aware of your allocated muster station.
• OPEN or SINGLE SITTING - offers the option to eat when you wish rather than choosing an early or late dining option. This option is usually found on luxury vessels, but is becoming incresingly popular. Also known as "Anytime Dining".
• PANAMAX - most people think this has something to do with the size of the screen in a movie theatre, but it actually refers to the maximum size for a ship to enter the Panama Canal. True! You can use that one in your next trivia night..
• PORT - a great drink at night after a good meal. Also is the left side of the ship when facing forward. Can get a little confusing if you have become too familiar with the aforementioned version of the same. It is also the name for place, city or town on a waterway with facilities for loading and unloading of ships.
• POST PANAMAX - the debrief session you have with friends after seeing the latest screen blockbuster. Well, it could be, but it really refers to a generation of ships which are too wide to go through the Panama Canal.
• PRIVATE ISLAND - several cruise lines buy or lease islands where their passengers can enjoy exclusive use of the facilities (especially in the Caribbean)
• STARBOARD - the right side of the ship when facing forward. Can also get very confusing when you have had too much of the other side (see PORT).
• STERN - the way you talk to your kids when they think the pet's tail looked just like a sparkler. Also refers to the rear of the ship.
• SUITE - a deluxe cabin, often offering a separate bedroom and dining / sitting area. Pretty much always has pretty a generous balcony as well.
• TENDER - usually the condition you can expect to your steak in when eating at the restaurant. It is also the name used for the boats that transfer you from ship to shore when the ship is in port, but is unable to dock and is anchored offshore. Often lifeboats are used as tenders to transfer passengers ashore.
• THEME CRUISE - a cruise where some or all of the onboard activities are geared towards attracting people with a special interest, ie: music, wine tasting, history, art appreciation etc

So there you go! Now, in regards to the questions at the start of the page.... You might have picked it up earlier on, however the average age of cruisers worldwide has dropped considerably over the last few years as more and more people discover the joys of cruising. Currently, the average is 43 years across the board.

Now, when a cruise first goes on sale, what do you really think sells fastest? Personally, I would have said the lowest priced cabins - after all, we are all up for a bargain, aren't we? Well, in fact it is the highest priced cabins that go first! Generally cruises sell from the "top down" and then from the "bottom up". In other words, the suites and mini suites on a cruise generally get booked out first, and then the lower priced cabins. Currently, most cruises departing from Australia at present are booked out well ahead of departure, and - unlike airlines who rely more and more on last minute deals to try and fill seats - cruise sales are generally geared for those booking between 12 - 18 months in advance! So if you are looking at a cruise holiday, book early!

The back of a ship is called the stern, as opposed to "Aft" which refers to "towards the back" of the ship.

When booking a cruise, generally 85% of your holiday cost is already covered! The only incidentals that aren't included in your cruise cost are your spending on shore excursions, beer, wine & soft drinks, items of a personal nature, any tipping, and transfers at the start and end of your cruise. Other than that, you pretty much have the perfect holiday without the need to lift a finger!